Helping your child cope with rejection

Rejection is one of life’s most difficult experiences, and for children, it can feel especially overwhelming. Whether they’re left out on the playground, ghosted online, or turned down by a team or school, the emotional impact can be deep. As parents, our instinct may be to fix the problem or protect them from pain. However, helping your child face rejection is essential for building emotional resilience and self-confidence.

Start by Listening

When your child shares a painful experience, pause and listen without rushing to offer advice or solutions. Validate their feelings with empathy. Say something like, “That sounds really tough. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way.” Avoid dismissing their emotions with phrases like “It’s not a big deal” or “You’ll find new friends.” These moments feel huge to a child, and they need to know their feelings are valid.

Reframe the Experience

Children often blame themselves after being rejected. Help them consider other possibilities. If a friend excluded them, ask, “Do you think they may not have realized how that made you feel?” This encourages empathy and helps them not internalize the rejection.

Tackling Digital and Academic Rejection

Rejection can also happen online or in academics—being ignored in group chats, not making the team, or missing out on a school. Acknowledge the disappointment and remind them that setbacks happen to everyone. Support their emotions while encouraging a growth mindset: “You worked hard, and I’m proud of your effort.”

Build Resilience

Resilience comes from working through challenges, not avoiding them. By modelling calm, empathy, and problem-solving, you teach your child to face rejection with confidence. With your support, they’ll grow stronger, more self-aware, and better prepared for future challenges.

Dr Danielle Grey is a Clinical Psychologist and the Clinical Director for the Purple House Clinic, Birmingham. The clinic is based in Coleshill and offers private psychological health care. For more information visit www.purplehouseclinic.co.uk or call 0121 820 7851.

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