How do we help our children handle social media better?

How do we help our children handle social media better? Through education – that’s how.

My wife and I set up the national charity, Positive Social, after seeing the negative effect platforms like Instagram and Snapchat were having on children.

We realised that social media was here to stay and there was no point telling young people they should stay off it. For starters, we were running one of the UK’s oldest social media consultancies!

No, the answer was to show children there is another way of handling social media – where they are in control and not the social networks.

So we started running sessions in schools which are broken down into three key areas:

• Are they using social media appropriately?

We use a powerful illustration which gets across why we shouldn’t write anything on social media that we wouldn’t say face-to-face. We help them understand the consequences of being abusive on social media. And we show them examples of people who behaved inappropriately on social media and how it came back to haunt them later.

• The power of social media on the brain.

Doctors liken our addiction to social media to that experienced by crack cocaine addicts. We’ve become a nation of digital crack addicts. Yet that’s how the networks were designed – to send a dash of the brain’s happiness hormone, dopamine, when we receive a message, get a like, watch a video… Do we want to be controlled by others trying to get rich at our expense?

• Are we living our best lives?

We ask students to imagine their perfect day – no holds barred. They come up with scenarios where they’re on a beach, or at a theme park, nearly always with family and friends. When they’re asked if they said they wanted to go on social media during their perfect day, they look incredulous. And then the penny drops. Yes, we can’t have our perfect day very often, if at all, but we can enjoy our best days so why let them be spoilt by social media and our smartphones?

The sessions conclude with the students making commitments to change. Powerful commitments such as:

“I’m going to leave WhatsApp groups where I’m bullying other kids.”

“I’m leaving Instagram because it makes me feel sad.”

“I’m going to spend more time with my little brother rather than being on my phone.”

“I’m no longer going to take my phone to bed with me.”

Thousands of commitments have been made by children from Years 5 to 13. All of them realising that the relationship they have with social media and their phone is not a healthy one.

Finally, they’ve been given permission to live life differently – and they are quick to embrace it.

Of course, not every child will. But they’ll never forget our sessions. Fun, dynamic and thought-provoking – they’re unforgettable. Which is why schools invite us back year after year.

We encourage schools to follow up our sessions by setting up Social Ambassadors – groups of children who meet monthly to discuss what’s happening on social media. So when the next Andrew Tate equivalent appears, schools can act more quickly. Plus, it keeps good social media use on the agenda until we return.

Positive Social is fast approaching the 10,000 mark. Ten thousand children who have taken part in our sessions. Hundreds of parents have also attended parent-focused sessions, designed to help them support their children on the social media journey.

But we rely on others to be a success. Schools are busy places so it’s often a word from a parent or a school governor that provides a breakthrough. And with our sessions being free for Year 7s and at a low cost for other year groups, it’s no surprise that schools are biting our hand off.

One assistant headteacher told us that 98% of issues in his school are caused by social media, disrupting children’s and parents’ lives. Which is why they value our visits.

We have more than 30 deliverers across the UK with more people joining us regularly.

Social media is a part of our lives. It’s a great tool for planning days out; wonderful for staying in contact with friends; helpful when it comes to building communities and for commerce. But we need to be in control of social media and not let it control us.

If we want our children to make wise choices, we need to show them what choices they can make.

You can find out more about Positive Social at https://positivesocial.org.uk/ or contact the team at hello@positivesocial.co.uk to request information to send to your child’s school.